Going where the wind blows

Life is not as beautiful and perfect as a portrait of Mona Lisa or the Sea bed. The world we live in is far from being perfect; the people around us are also not perfect and so are we not. 
Flaws prevail in everyone of us; Myself included. However it is following in the direction that the wind blows in, that on a daily basis we hear blabs on how ‘No one is perfect ‘. Such does not arise from nature ; it is what we debunk and sell ourselves into. It has, in actual fact become an inexcusable National Anthem to every breathing soul on Earth. 
I;personally am this very Prominent,Incomparable 17 year old girl. It’s no bad thing to actually be Unique and out of this world. The honest truth is ,I can never be like him,her nor them even if I wished to.That’s what I like about My weird -self.
The only challenge with being like nobody else except yourself is that, no one wants to be like you ; or at least no one in their Sane mind does. People (and I mean EVERYONE ) all want to go where the wind blows them. That’s where we have all sorts of “Bad” Trend-setters;from our Party-animals to our Baddest kids on the block. 
The reason why I have the word Bad  enclosed in speech marks(“”) in the above paragraph is because, none of the things done in the Kingdom that we all wish to be Kings and Queens of ; are considered to being even close to bad. Out of a bunch followers there are to the direction that the wind blows in; no one cares any less of the cons of booze-downing. It is the thrill and excitement that comes with it ,that matters the most; not forgetting the proudly cheering crowd in the background. 
Dwelling more deeper into a world that entices us all; more precisely kids my age – A world of Fame. I used to wonder what was it that was so attractive about the world of New-age tabboo ; then I realised… I realised how people don’t just wake-up and decide that ” Hey! Yes you! Feel the breezy weather? That’s exactly where you’re going Today “. As imperfect as we’re all  are ,we’re different and we can’t all be fanatics of breeze ; no matter how refreshing it might be . It is factors that include having no-one wanting to be like us ; as well as Stereotypical beliefs that proclaim life as some sort of a popularity contest and being told that you’re not fun to be around ; that eager us into following in the direction of the wind . 
Take me for instance : My peers would always tell me of how much of a Party-pooper I am ; in fact they still do . Back then it mattered what they thought of me . I even went to an extent of drinking alcohol , just to please them . Everyone else was drinking  so , I didn’t want to be the only ‘Uncool’ one . You can imagine how ‘Uncool ‘ it is for a 16 year old teen to be ‘Uncool’. Your peers would use every chance they get , to smug it in your innocent face that you’re not one of them if you’re not ‘Living life’. 
There came a point when I had to  move from the fictitious world I was in into concrete existence. Everywhere and everytime experienced people would talk about the cons of living in New-age tabboo but I didn’t take note until darkness hit me . Lucky enough ; I wasn’t in too deep so I managed to see the light once more ; returning home with a cracked tooth and bruises as my rewards ;as we all know that everything has it’s price . Mind you ; it could’ve been worse than that. 
From then I couldn’t care any less whether people saw me as Boring or Uncool . I sticked with my imperfect weird-self and ditched everything and everyone that was perfect , cool and normal . The concrete truth is that when you’re New to the buzz it all looks cools but reality is that we’re the lights that deem when we embark on the dark routes of New-age tabboo . You just have to stand out from the masses to shine .
The crest of being in everyone’s world versus those of your own world , is planets apart – The direction that the wind blows in , is detrimental ; so is following in the direction of the wind.
 Lead your own Highway in lieu of following in a crowded Back-street 

Victimised we remain

We as women; are really not having it easy. If it’s not suffering from being Socially and Traditionally held back, it is being restricted from embracing our bodies. The truth is, we’re letting our different Genders define who we are, when it shouldn’t be like that to even begin with. 
We need to understand that Gender norms are a thing of the past universe; where we had different tasks set out for different Genders . In the world of today; transformation is taking over . We (women ) are just as much capable of anything, just as men are; own decision-making included. 
To my surprise; there’s still bits in us that are still stuck-up in Old school ways of living and doing things; more precisely when it comes to these both Genders. Men are still perceived as the ‘Head-honchos’ who get to make all decisions  (big or small ), regarding how the world should be like; both in their homes and outside. Their egotistical masculinity is such to an extent that ;they feel like they somehow have the audacity to control how women should dress, while us women; on the other hand; are supposed to bow down to whatever men think is best for us. Poor victims 😔
I’m not saying it’s wrong to have men making decisions for their women. My point is ; do not (Not ever) allow yourselves to be dictated nor feel intimidated to do/wear what you feel like. 
Dating back to a century ago; when we were true Africans : Our African descendants lived to the accords of their African culture and embraced their nature. Everything; from ways of doing things to how they dressed, was respected and they were never judged for it. Let’s look at;for instance; our traditional attires : We hardly worn much and dressing then(even now) was for the sake of covering our delicate parts and you wouldn’t have heard of Rape incidents or Men Body-shaming Women. The respect our Fathers and Brothers had for our Mothers and Sisters actually played a critical role back then ; and by this I’m referring to the very same Respect we tend to think is only due to Men.
Today; in relation to past years ; is a very different world . We live in a world where women are constantly victimised; all because of how they dress. As a woman of today, you’re to huddle yourself with as much clothing as possible; no matter the season. Mind you;this is in case our Male dearests get ‘tempted’ and start getting wrong impressions, because this is the case every time Women are on a summer mood. We have to be sure to be clothed from neck to toe ;because there’s people out there who’re not immune to flesh .
Apparently; wearing short dresses that expose legs is asking to be sexually assaulted and all the other perverted acts from Men. Poor Women get called names like ‘Attention-seekers’ simply because of what they wear. To further oppress and victimise them ; they’re the ones who apparently ‘lack self-respect’ instead of Men being the ones who do not respect Women. It’s not only due to such that ,our young girls are ashamed of wearing dresses and skirts ; but also because We live in a world of Shame .
I;personally, have had it with being told what to wear and what not to wear, because of Men who inexcusably find it hard to control themselves or somehow feel like I dress for them. 

*Note to fellow Women:

 Own up to your bodies and refuse to be blamed for weaklings who cannot control the movement of their trouser zippers. Be bold and wear how you feel. Your sexiness shouldn’t; at all be subjective to Rape.

I may be young but I am a Woman and I’m fighting Sexism. I am fighting oppression against Women.
 

Where Women ought to be

                 

In leading; a world wide distinguished role, is one of the push factors to gender oppression .

Not both genders are seen as ” impossible-to-lead ” . Women , wives and young promising girls are all placed under different stages of all those who can’t lead . This does not mean that they can’t lead . It means that they are socially and traditionally held back from leading . They are habitually undermined whenever they attempt to embark on leading roles .      

Furthermore , because societal attitudes to women in leading roles , is firmly constructed and opposed , it is hard to convince people otherwise and showcase their leading capabilities . This is because of our strong built beliefs based on our African history and patriarchal attitudes to women .

Personally , I am very elated about the state of women globally . With that elation comes great hope regarding the gender oppression we face , that living to the accords of a world of a century ago , is the reason women give in to this kind of oppression . The image of women as the figures of the lead roles , can and will be improved once they all get shed light on about the current world . 

How we speak about and respond to oppression amongst these two different genders ; male and female ; . ” It’s not for women to be out there in the corporate world ” points to the crisis , debunking the myth that ” It’s a mens world ” . This phrase ” It’s a mens world ” suggests that it is a commonplace , for women to be oppressed . It has been happening all this time .

The truth is that , it does not just happen . We as women give in to this type of oppression . We choose to give in to this ” impossible to lead ” status and make this an adoption , because it is what we grew into .             

            

My 17th Birthday

            ​In dedication to my 17th birthday, I put up this piece below 

          
Once upon a time, the brightest star shone on earth . It was on the 27th of June that a star was born ; probably at night, with lights off and darkness everywhere ; because the moment she was born, everything changed . 
Every house of every street was shed light on and the darkness eventually transformed into brightness, because of the remarkable glow of this star, that had woken every asleep house up . 
Everyone, from family , relatives and neighbours all wanted a glimpse of her and their reaction was priceless . Their faces were lit , leaving them with delight and only delight on their faces . They all rejoiced and celebrated the birth of a young yet so bright star . 
She was named Nelly and was a blessing to a strong single mother . Nelly simply means the brightest light and was her birthright , because it is only at night that you can see the stars and by far , she was the only star that shone brightfully after so long. 

                                                                  ​

My folashade

                          
This;once again goes to the woman whom I’m always praise singing, the woman whose arms I used to fall asleep on and definitely the only person I live for; my Mother.

Despite the little time I had with her, she’s still my Folashade. The little 10 years I had with her , were enough experience for me to feel the love of a mother and the warmth of her heart. For that, I’ll always be grateful to the Almighty for having given me a beautiful blessing such as her.
She lived, loved but most importantly, she played she part. Not to sound cocky or anything; but I am this smart, responsible and open-minded 17 year old girl, all because I passed in her loving hands. It is such a great honour to have been born and bred by her.

The days she passed away on used to feel like years. I remember how I couldn’t eat, play or do any other thing I would do, under normal circumstances. All this at just 10 years of age. However; it was all until an Angel she sent through , spoke softly into my ears the message she wanted me to hear. She said that I should not mourn her death for too long, for time wasted is never regained. She said that it was okay for me to have room for crying to ease the hurt and pain I went through; but I should bear in mind that the world awaits no men. That I should use the time I am left with to embrace the special gift in me that no one else has , before it was too late. That’s when I healed and moved over the hurt , that would’ve shattered my soul into pieces if I didn’t do anything about it. I found pad and pen and used them to express my sorrows and stopped dwelling on them any longer.
Today; 19th of June; would’ve been her 41st Birthday but I know she’s okay and safe now, in a better place. There’s no crying over the fact that she’s no more because I know that someday; be it a different timezone, life or place; I’ll see her again .
I always pray that she knows that she gave birth to a star. The brightest light that’s still to shed the world with it’s remarkable glow, that had lit faces and hearts of all those who saw her on her birthday. That’s enough guarantee for her to rest in peace.
All these may be too little words to dedicate to someone who gave a gift so special and wonderful, but they mean my entire soul and every body part in me. If I could stand on top of the world and scream on top of my lungs just how much I appreciate the life she spared me; I would.
FROM ME TO HER, SINCERELY HERS: I LOVE YOU MOM ❤❤❤​

The tainted life of South African teens

        

                    
We (teens) as the young generation of our African continent and our beloved South African country, are meant to be this very, focused and determined promising future-holders or so it used to be. We have turned out to be completely different from how we were supposed to have turned out.            
                               

                                                                      
We are ignorant, rebellious, recalcitrant and wild yet smart and talented.We love and cherish alcohol, drugs and sex under a myth that “we all have to do it. Rather sooner than later” ; instead of loving and cherishing Education.         
                     
Yes;life is not as beautiful and perfect as a portrait of Mona Lisa or the sea bed. The world we live in is far from being perfect, the people around us are not perfect and so are we not. Flaws prevail in everyone of us; I included. 2016 came and I almost did not recognize myself. My life and who I am almost changed for the worst, in just a short space of time ; when I got infected by a disease that leaves no stone unturned; TEENAGEHOOD. That’s when my way got blurry and I started seeing things in everyone’s eye.                                   
 
As we grow up, we get taught from right to wrong and which lines to cross. All this sticks on our minds until we reach teenagehood. We start thinking that we somehow know best and we’ve got to break rules because they’re meant to be broken; as a once-stupid man once said. I always chose not to follow in anyone’s footsteps because I knew the right direction ; but it was all until I came overhead with the most tempting future-ruiner… Alcohol. Everyone else around me was on booze, so I thought “why not” … I mean who was I to stand out from the masses. Of course all the ‘Don’ts ‘ were there but I chose to ignore them all.    

                                                

I wanted to be ranked amongst the “coolest” ,so resisting booze wouldn’t have cut it. With all these trend-setters who proclaim teenhood as some sort of a ‘Turn-up vibe’; it was hard for me to stick to the route I had chosen for myself and make it smooth, hard for me to be a good, obedient kid I had always been.    

                        

It was all until I got a cracked tooth( mark for life), a bruised face and DISAPPOINTED all those who expected better from me; more especially my family ; that I realized how life is not a popularity contest we portay it as. I realized how choosing your own path and doing good deeds is the best harmless journey a teen can ever embark on; even if it is as uncool and stupid people say it is. 

My advice to every soul; young souls precisely; is that it could take them more than just a cracked tooth and bruises that will fade in no time. It could take them their virginity, broken body parts or even worse ;their lives and hearts of their beloved mothers and fathers.So it very best for us to love and cherish the Education that will leave us as dignified in the long run than the very same alcohol and drugs that will turn us into rags. Cherish the Education past students fought for in the 1976 Soweto-uprising. It is the least we could do, to show how appreciative we are to them, for having sacrificed their lives, for the Education of Black children. 

​

The only Golden gift I’ve ever had

I started off as just a dream to a woman who wanted a little angel of hers , to groom and live out her memory; for when the Great Lord decides to call upon her. 

Time went on and everything seemed to be falling into place. Just as a  lifetime dream was now in motion and a woman was soon going to be a mother , things almost derailed and a dream was put on a verge . It was when a man who was supposed to be a father figure to me decided to do a runner and I too; like any other unborn kid who was to be born to a single mother; became a likely possible statistic of Abortion and had very slim chances of making it out alive ; as single-parenting is the hardest task one can ever take .

It all changed when my mother decided that ” know what, I need no man for my dream to come true ” and freed from a situation that could’ve shattered her dream ,seeing as she was so close to living it out . She refused to allow the shivering thought of having to go through the mouldering of the perfectly-shaped being with bare hands, all on her own because the dream was hers and hers alone. Of course there was no running away from the fact that, the little angel she was carrying was fatherless, but her utmost strength and affection she had , was all that mattered. 

The 27th June 2000 came and not just did a used-to-be dreamer have the biggest smile on her face, because the only thing she had longed for , was now in her arms; but I also survived against a million chances of being aborted . I re-located from the home inside of a dreamer to Earth; where life was said to be. A place most unborn kids don’t live to see. 

The woman who almost thought that her dream was at the mercy of a man, now had someone to call her ‘ Mama ‘ for the first time ever. That gave her the most priceless feeling she could’ve ever asked for and was indeed a dream come true. 

ABOVE IT ALL, SHE GAVE ME THE ONLY GOLDEN GIFT I HAVE EVER HAD. I AM PROUD TO SAY OUT LOUD THAT I AM LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. 

MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE ♥♥♥

Women for ROYALTY

The conception of “It’s a mens world ” has blunder written all over it, because Gender distinctions don’t actuate women’s blemishes, considering the fact that women have proven themselves that they can do anything men can do, exceptionally well. If anything, it has become cliche .

Gender norms are a social custom prohibiting Gender equality. From birth, we have attributed the idea of “It’s a mens world ” and are forced to adapt to the Gender biased environment, that is socially constructed and adds to the original definition of taboo.

Gender norms are a possible motivation for Gender oppression ,since they can invoke and help sustain Gender inequality, thus the world struggles to shift from being male-advantaged ; making professional advancements to be deemed unimportant for women ; in a sense that a critical aspect of Gender oppression leads to unequal economic access between the two genders. They (gender normalities) somehow conduct our lives and influence social behavior, resulting in men who want to have the final word in everything.

Expectations based on males and females are centered on conceptions of femininity and masculinity; and the Gender schema, which entails of adapting to ‘ suitable ‘ behavior(s) for each Gender group. Traditionally, men are meant to render superiority than women.

Mostly, Gender normalities are based on our African ancient history and theories, which form bases for Gender identity, also forming prevalences of Male-dominance in our societies. The historical tradition endorses Gender stereotypes and form expectations on them; while theoretically , it is said that men and women have evolved differently to fulfil their different and complimentary functions. African ancient history and theories make Gender issues more natural.

Women are underestimated by many, but can do all things ‘manly’ exceptionally well;in heels. Living to the accords of Gender norms truly belong in history museums. Let it be more of a historical education than a current enforcement/ trend. The world can and will be much better, if only we’d stop judging women on they USED TO BE good at and welcome them on board as co-transformation leaders.

The contradictory part of freeing from the Apartheid era into a new Democratic SA

With this being my debut post, I’m hoping to get as much feedback as possible and get shed some light on things I can’t make clear sense of. 

Now shifting back to the topic at hand, the contradictory part of freeing from European colonial powers into a new Democratic South Africa. 

Before gaining independence , We were all one and so were our cries, we all wanted to be free. Then there had to be Freedom, which seems to have swept away all the principles South Africans lived by and I ask myself if all the efforts of our freedom fighters were worth it. 

Ever since the Apartheid era was put to stop, it’s been one havoc after the other. From Xenophobia to Homophobia and I wonder if Apartheid was the only factor that bound us to the spirit of Ubuntu and gave us humanity to celebrate, because back then  we breathed one, lived one and sticked together, unlike today. 

Maybe if Apartheid didn’t end and we weren’t living in a Democratic state, our country would’ve been just as holy as Heaven if not holier. 

It’s like we have forgotten what being treated fairly and loving one another( What our elders fought for) is. 

Or maybe it is because I have never lived in times of racial discrimination and segregation, that I feel this way. Even so, my cramped understanding of what South Africa has turned into is adequate for me to know when something’s not right. 

I don’t get why there’s so much preaching about our country rendering Ubuntu yet I hardly notice any. I tried looking around to see if I’d notice anything good about us and unsurprisingly , I found none. 

We bear hate against our fellow gays and lesbians. We even go to an extent of killing poor refugees who moved to our country, thinking that maybe it’s the greener side of the grass. Now Imagine what we could do to our own flesh and blood, if we managed to ill treat our fellow LGBTI community and refugees. 

It is said that one can do anything they put their minds to and I know exactly why we can’t simply love and tolerate each other like we used to. It is because we don’t want to. 

With all that’s going on in our country right now, I wish I had lived in a different time -zone, different country or a very far away planet . Maybe I wouldn’t have to live with this burdening confusion. 

I’m just 17 years old but ashamed to call myself a South African. 

Why can’t we flock together and be birds of the same feathers, despite our distinguished differences, because it is only through tolerance and working together towards change, that South Africa can be a home to be proud of.

First blog post

This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog.